Do you know those people that are constantly complaining? You find yourself almost hesitant to ask how they are doing because the answer is going to be a barrage of negative. I am a firm believer when you look for the negative you find it and not only that you attract it. I also believe when you look for the positive you find it and guess what? You attract Positive!

We all have ups and downs or trials and tribulations! Some years are harder than others. Mid 2015-to mid 2016 was one of those times for me. I was in an abusive marriage and then going through a divorce and figuring out my future. It was not easy but there was a LOT of positive that came from all of that. One - I learned how strong I was. Two - I realized how amazing some of my friends who really showed up for me were. Three - I realized I was given a unique opportunity to reset my life and change what wasn’t working and explore what brought me happiness. It would have been easy to focus on the heartbreak and fears about the future. It would have been easy to complain about the unfairness of it all. At the end of the day - being negative would not propel me forward or bring positivity to my life. Even in the worst of times Everything doesn’t Suck. Somethings may but not everything.

You have a choice to make - focus on the negative or focus on the positive. Me - I’m choosing the positive.

Did you know you’ll attract a different crowd depending on which you choose? You’ll find friends who are eager to jump right in and complain with you if you that’s what you choose to do. You’ll also find some folks fade away who would rather not live in that negative space. If you pick yourself up - focus on the positive - you’ll find positive people who want to support you.

It comes down to - do you want to be the victim or the conquerer? I’ll take conquerer every time.

It’s okay to have a bad day, It’s okay too vent. It’s okay to be discouraged but don’t live in that. Have your moment and then pick yourself up.

Right now I find myself with a friendship that has become one of constant complaints and negativity. It’s not a request for help but more of a list of what sucks on a regular basis. No one has cancer, lost a job, or is filing bankruptcy - it’s all everyday nuisances. It’s not serving me well - I don’t want to be in this constant negative space. This friendship only works if I participate in the complaining. I wish my friend would choose to be more positive but I don’t know that that will happen. I am choosing to preserve my positive outlook. Everything does not suck and I am not looking for evidence to the contrary! This situation is toxic for me and may turn a friendship to an acquaintance.

Next time you find yourself in that spiral of everything sucks - ask yourself a few simple questions:

1. Do I have my health?

2. Do I have people who care about me?

3. Can I afford groceries, gas and my essentials?

4. Do I have a roof over my head?

If you can answer yes to any of those - everything doesn’t suck. Start with what is positive and see what else you can add to that list.