Break Ups Are Hard!

I am confident all of us have been a part of a break up at some point in our lives. Maybe it was that cute 5th grader who broke up with you to eat lunch with your friend instead. I bet that stung! Or maybe it was later in life and a more serious relationship or even a divorce. Either way -breakups are hard.

I realized the other day that breakups and the breakup struggle can happen with things and habits, too, not just people. It can be just as hard to break up with a habit, in my opinion, as it is to break up with a person. Either way requires a change to your norm and often a change we aren’t excited about.

I’ve been listening to the same morning show on the radio for over 10 years. I discovered this station on a business trip - it’s actually out of Atlanta. I’ve moved from Ohio to Tennessee and then Lexington and my station came with me by the power of on-demand, streaming, and podcasts. One of the things I loved about this show is it gave me the most essential news of the day, lots of laughter, and steered clear of politics. Well, this summer that changed. My favorite station became very political and judgmental of those not adhering to their views. I found myself becoming frustrated in the mornings. Gone was laughter and levity I looked forward to and in its place negativity, name-calling, and judgment. So what did I do? I kept forcing myself to listen because we had such a long history and good memories! (Doesn’t this sound like the justification we give ourselves when a relationship has run its course but we aren’t ready for it to be over?) And after a few more weeks, I realized it was time to break up. It was hard for a few weeks. My morning routine had changed. I didn’t have a replacement. Now a few months in I’ve explored some new stations and I’m okay with this breakup. It had become toxic for me to start my day in a bad mood and I’m much happier without that.

I’ve also broken up with gluten several years ago and the struggle was much greater in the beginning. I wanted all the things I shouldn’t have. Just the other day a friend asked me if I missed gluten and I had to think about it for a moment. My answer was no. I’ve realized the negative impact on my body eating gluten and it just wasn’t worth it. The thing I loved the most with gluten is brownies and there are some excellent gluten-free options now.

I am sharing this with you because I think it’s important to realize when we decide to make a healthy change whether that is eliminating something from our diet or deciding to get up early and go to Pilates, it’s good to acknowledge change is hard. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it! But if we accept this is going to be a challenge, I think we’ll be kinder to ourselves along the process. Breaking up with a favorite food or a habit of hitting the snooze may be a struggle for a while until we get over that breakup. Fortunately, with breakups, we often look back and are grateful for the change over time. Next time you need to break up with an item or habit please realize it’s a process and don’t expect 100% success right out the gate. Focus on progress, not perfection. Celebrate your victories rather than punishing your failings. You’ll end much more successful and also happier this way!